Saturday, May 19, 2007

Out of the mouths of babes....

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes moms out of clouds & angel hair & everything nice in the world & one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between Moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Hope this gave you a giggle or two like it did for me...gotta love em!!!


eggrolls and chopsticks said...

Oh, the things children say and teachers get to hear. We have been practising the, thats a private family thing and there is no need to tell Ms N this story. Seriously, I just don't need the teacher knowing about my boobies!

Stacy said...

Those are some sweet comments. I love the things kids say!

redmaryjanes said...

That is so hilarious! I read every one.

C.J. said...

I love kids...what a crack up.

Ms. Dragonfly said...

'God makes moms out of clouds & angel hair & everything nice in the world & one dab of mean.'
~~ that is my fav line. I'm going to have to steal it.

Janet said...

I love those. Especially the part about the "dab of mean." Too funny!

amy said...

What a great post..It made me smile. Glad I stopped by

kris said...

Oh this is PRICELESS!! I'm going to have to send this to everyone I know!

Jonni & John said...

How cute! Isn't it great what kids say?

P.S. - I tagged you, come over to my blog.

nikki said...

Those were funny!
Kids are truly hilarious and they say the best stuff.