Thursday, January 3, 2008

Twas the week after Christmas....


...and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the
eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to
the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces
and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd
never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again
to do battle with dirt

I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter disguised
as a man!"

So away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit
cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished "Till all the
additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie - not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a
long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a
carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore But isn't that what
January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all
a good diet!

By Pigeon G. (thanks Pigeon for letting me borrow this!!)...

8 comments:

Mob said...

That is so funny, but so horribly true. I thought I was fine, but then stepped on the scale...oops..an extra 5 lbs. Looks like its carrots and celery for me.

Janet said...

Tee hee. Good thing I don't have an ass.

Special K said...

Damn..now I'm hungry.

jennwa said...

That is very funny. I also love that photo with the refrigerator.

Rachel said...

Oh my. That was adorable ;-)
I came over from Top Momma, how could I not click on a frog with a tiara?
Adorable.

Alyson & Ford said...

Too cute (too true)! Love the picture (I don't want to see my rear).

Alyson
LID 01/27/06

Karen said...

Oh, that's too good. And way too true.

crazylady said...

someone took their clever pill... love the photo...you can say 'ass' in context.